On Word Play and Food Porn

Hi! Since my epic solo travels don’t begin until early August, I figure it’d be nice to lay out early on what ya’ll can expect from the blog – from how often I plan on updating, to what I plan on writing about – along with other juicy morsels of knowledge. Enjoy.

The 6 Things You Can Expect From This Blog:

1) 300 to 500-word blog posts on whatever the fuck I want (generally travel and food-related) about 2x a week.

Will I publish two posts in two consecutive days or will I spread ’em out wide like dollar bills on a stripper’s ass? Who knows. We’ll find out.

#eggtarts #freshoutofthetheoven #nomakeup #nofilter #gonewild (Taken at the Hong Kong Lounge II in SF.)

#eggtarts #freshoutofthetheoven #nomakeup #nofilter #gonewild (Taken at the Hong Kong Lounge II in SF.)

2) Daily posts and amateur food porn come August 7 – 11, when I’m actually traveling!

Everything up until then is like foreplay. Very wordy foreplay.

3) Blood.

I’m a meat eater and plan to consume my weight in animal products during my vacation. I also like knowing something had to die for me to eat it. (Yeah, I was that girl in high school.)

4) Alcohol.

Sometimes my meal of choice.

5) Graphic language, sensationalistic titles and cheap glamour.

Just tryna be true to myself. Here is a link to a picture of a box full o’ kittens to make up for it, if you’re so inclined.

6) Loose women.

Just kidding. It’s just me – and I’m loose enough as it is. (Just kidding, mom!) (Just kidding again – my mom doesn’t know about this blog. Omg can you imagine??)

Until next time! Here’s a picture of me enjoying a skirted steak at Bocadillo’s to tide you over, you filthy whores, you.

If you think this is hot, you should have seen what I did to that plate 10 seconds after.

If you think this is hot, you should have seen what I did to that plate 10 seconds after.

With Love,

Katherine

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Why the Fuck Not?

Hi! My name is Katherine and come August, I’m jetting off to Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA on a solo adventure of gastronomic proportions.

Vancouver, British Columbia: a riddle wrapped in bacon, shrouded in mystery inside maple syrup. A delicious enigma.

Vancouver, British Columbia: a riddle wrapped in bacon, shrouded in mystery inside maple syrup. A delicious enigma.

If you told me a month ago that I’d be going on a week-long solo trip to Canada and Washington, I would have LAUGHED IN YOUR FACE. You see my dear reader… I am not a very adventurous person at all.

Outside of my colorful exploits in social activism and allusions to BDSM clubs I may or may not have gone to in times past, I am at heart, an introverted foodie whose idea of a good Friday night is lying in bed with my laptop, watching cat videos and balancing a burrito between my breasts so I can sip my beer without getting up.

Seattle, Washington: a riddle wrapped in salmon, shrouded in mystery inside an oyster bar.

Seattle, Washington: a riddle wrapped in salmon, shrouded in mystery inside an oyster bar.

Despite living in one of the most exciting food scenes in America, I’m in bad rut. Plain and simple. More often than not this year, I’ve pussied out of trying new restaurants or even different items on a menu out of fatigue from work or school, or for the sake of routine.

These are all pretty legit reasons but in reality, I’ve gotten comfortable with putting off experiencing new things. I have grown accustomed to waiting for the “perfect time” to go, or the “right” words to say – only to end up never going anywhere or speaking at all.

For example, there’s this cozy, little wine bar a block away from my house that I have never been to. Never! I’ve lived in the same house for over a year and I still haven’t found “the right time” to go or anyone to go with when I wanted to. How fucking sad is that?

San Francisco, CA. Home base.

San Francisco, CA. Home base.

So why now?

Well, because I’m fucking tired of not doing things. Because there is no such thing as “perfect timing.” Because I want to. Because WHY THE FUCK NOT?

If variety is the spice of life, then I have been subsisting on motherfucking blanched vegetables.

NO. MORE. Come August, I am taking a month-long sabbatical from work to attend back-to-back trainings for 2 weeks for school. But before those trainings, I am taking a meaty bite out of Vancouver & Seattle. I’ve bought my plane tickets, booked my hostels and even made a Google Doc. Shit is official yo.

For the first time in a long time, you won’t be able to find me watching cat videos with no pants on in my room. I will instead be in Vancouver and Seattle, watching cat videos on my smartphone against a new city skyline while stuffing my face with poutine or slurping Happy Hour oysters, and sipping a microbrew out of a straw, nestled in between my breasts.

Ahhh, variety.

Motherfucking poutine, ya'll. #NSFW

Motherfucking poutine, ya’ll. #NSFW

With Love,

Katherine